The rest of the symptoms such as suicide attempts/suicidal thoughts, paranoia, mood instability, and irrational anger are also related to a lack of sense of self. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. I started to like to get bullied at one point since people were giving me some sort of attention (wasn't getting it from home). I wish you all the best of luck!! Having quiet Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) means that you direct mood swings and behaviors inward, rather than directing them towards others. A former therapist suggested that we write letters to each other if we want to talk about something that could potentially lead to an explosive argument. Manipulation is not a criteria for the disorder. This has worked wonders for our relationship. I have thought about this many times. While I'm not BPD, my insecurities about my own self worth and my refusal to give up turned a bad situation into something horrifying. Causes of Borderline Personality Disorder For many years, it was commonly believed that the main cause of borderline disorder was poor or uninformed parenting. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} I still am impulsive at times, but not chronically enough for me to fit that symptom. I hope that my analogy made sense. Sounded like my family growing up. If a red marble tells a green marble that he's not green and is instead red, then the green marble may be irritated or annoyed, but he will know deep down inside that he is green and not red. I think it might be due to our lack of a self. EDIT: I am very glad with how this AMA turned out. But by reframing emotional manipulation in BPD, you can come to understand what truly drives your loved one’s … My mother and I have had a very rocky relationship, but it is improving. Secondly, you mention the symptoms are very similar to and hard to distinguish from Bipolar. So what I do now is I pet my dogs whenever I am angry. Though the concept of having a favorite person is one familiar to a lot of people in the BPD community, others might hear the term and think, “Oh, it’s like a best friend.” We need something to anchor ourselves to because we can't seem to figure out who we are. I also have other mental health diagnoses, but I am doing this AMA on BPD because of the widespread stigma, lack of information, and confusion surrounding this disorder. Saying "I have mood swings" can mean several different things, and whatever is causing the mood swing usually dictates what sort of treatment is necessary. The bottom line is that the symptoms of BPD are caused by an unstable sense of self, which in turn causes relationship problems. Learn more about this … Now that this has been discovered, it is entirely possible for someone with BPD to get rid of some of their symptoms so that they don't even qualify for the diagnosis anymore. Just your basic child neglect, having a part time drug addict/full time alcoholic of a single mom most of my life were the building blocks. Also, I never thought about it much since I was "over it", but I was SEVERALLY bullied throughout 1st-7th grade. However, it is important to understand that while this flip flopping is definitely a common symptom of BPD, not everyone with BPD has it. Is it not plausible to say, then, that these are all disorders from the same spectrum; and that our attempts to separate them and name them are fairly lame attempts to make sense of something no one really understands? How do you get along with your family? This is similar to my story. But you see, the only reason I would describe my personality that way is because that is what people have told me I like. No father. It's ok, I haven't figured that part out either. The tales of a BPD struggling with Addiction, Anxiety, Depression & much more. Thank you! It's gotten to the point where I cope by being as nasty back to them. Do the names we have for these disorders actually have a substantial meaning? Mom and grandma were emotionally abusive and neglectful, probably physically neglectful too. 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